My seven year old is 55 pounds and a very tall 52 inches for her age. She towers over other first graders at school and she may pass me up one day. This is the sweet thing about my big girl...she still loves to snuggle. I love it too! She curls up on my lap like a tiny baby, but her long legs hang off the chair. My sensitive girl needs this time each day with her mom. And her mom loves it. Well, I love it until I get an elbow in the side or a 55 pound adjustment that literally takes my breath away. I'm always telling her to be gentle.
"You are such a BIG girl, E. Be gentle!"
"E, you are so BIG, when you move your legs like that, it really hurts."
I could go on and on. Recently though, I've been thinking about my choice of words when I'm struggling to stay bruise-free during a snuggle session. This is what I have realized. The word "big" to a girl is a very bad thing. I wouldn't want to be called "big"! Even if E isn't bothered now, as she gets older and more aware of her body, she won't want to be called anything close to big. The phrase "big girl" we use all the time to describe going from toddlerhood to childhood. But at some point, it's going to become an insult. So I'll be changing my tune! As much as it pains me, I'm going to switch from "blaming" E for being so big to changing the focus on myself. I think I'll just tell her, "Mommy is getting old so be gentle." And besides, maybe it isn't that she is getting so big. Maybe it is that I'm getting more fragile....and cranky in my old age.
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Saturday, February 19, 2011
Soccer
I hate to admit, but I was wrong. Was...past tense. I'm sure it will never happen again. And this is even more difficult to report. Today, my husband was right! It happens.
I signed J up for a soccer class a couple weeks ago. She is 4 and I thought I had registered her for a class with 3 and 4 year olds. Knowing she is delayed, I thought this would be adequate for her abilities. It turns out she was mistakenly put into a class designed for two year olds. Much to the chagrin of the other parents. Here is our little four year old running faster, communicating and expressing herself, and following directions. While the other kids are just learning to follow instructions and require parents to direct them at almost every transition. She is a superstar in this class.
Today I attended her class for the first time and immediately noticed that her talents were a little above the other children. As any parent, I want to challenge my children.
"Let's get her in the next level," I said.
Push, push, push!
And my husband responded, "She doesn't need to be challenged, she needs a confidence builder. Leave her alone."
Hmmm..ok.
I loved watching her! The coaches are well aware of her abilities and when we were all under the parachute, talking about colors, the coaches repeatedly turned to J to answer their questions. They knew the other children were just learning their colors and even if they knew them, most wouldn't be able to quickly report where they saw the color red. J had all the answers. She was the child with every right answer and she knew it. So in answer to every one of their questions, she confidently yelled her replies. Where else would she be able to show this much expertise except under a parachute in a soccer class for two year olds? Definitely, not at school. And not at home with a seven year old sibling.
So she is going to stay in the class. I'm not sure how the other parents are going to like it. She does get a lot of attention. And seriously, why would I care what they think anyway?
I signed J up for a soccer class a couple weeks ago. She is 4 and I thought I had registered her for a class with 3 and 4 year olds. Knowing she is delayed, I thought this would be adequate for her abilities. It turns out she was mistakenly put into a class designed for two year olds. Much to the chagrin of the other parents. Here is our little four year old running faster, communicating and expressing herself, and following directions. While the other kids are just learning to follow instructions and require parents to direct them at almost every transition. She is a superstar in this class.
Today I attended her class for the first time and immediately noticed that her talents were a little above the other children. As any parent, I want to challenge my children.
"Let's get her in the next level," I said.
Push, push, push!
And my husband responded, "She doesn't need to be challenged, she needs a confidence builder. Leave her alone."
Hmmm..ok.
I loved watching her! The coaches are well aware of her abilities and when we were all under the parachute, talking about colors, the coaches repeatedly turned to J to answer their questions. They knew the other children were just learning their colors and even if they knew them, most wouldn't be able to quickly report where they saw the color red. J had all the answers. She was the child with every right answer and she knew it. So in answer to every one of their questions, she confidently yelled her replies. Where else would she be able to show this much expertise except under a parachute in a soccer class for two year olds? Definitely, not at school. And not at home with a seven year old sibling.
So she is going to stay in the class. I'm not sure how the other parents are going to like it. She does get a lot of attention. And seriously, why would I care what they think anyway?
Friday, February 18, 2011
Yes, girls wrestle!
As a family, we have fond memories of the many hours we have spent in hospitals. Mainly, having survived the surgeries and scans, doctors appointments and the waiting game, has made us all very tough cookies! The memories are bitter sweet. Not every moment was spent wringing hands and wiping tears. At times we laughed and joked. But there is one memory I have of our discharge from Shriner's Hospital. J had a surgery to correct a sprengel's deformity. This was major surgery resulting with incisions that ran along her clavicle on her front side and another running the entire length of her spine. That is major surgery!
We spent a few days in the hospital and had an uncomplicated recovery, thankfully. The surgeon who is a pediatric spinal specialist discussed a few things with us before he turned the general discharge instructions over to the nurse. The nurse needed to provide us with J's physical limitations during her recovery. Essentially, J was encouraged to use her arm when she felt she was ready and as she read over the other instructions she said, "Oh, and if she has any siblings no wrestling." She paused and continued, "But you have two girls so you don't need to worry about them wrestling." My husband and I looked at each other like...what?!?! Ummm...I don't know about other girls, but our girls wrestle, tackle and rough house on a daily basis.
Now whenever my girls decide to wrestle, I have to chuckle. Ahhh..memories!
Someone is going to get hurt!
We spent a few days in the hospital and had an uncomplicated recovery, thankfully. The surgeon who is a pediatric spinal specialist discussed a few things with us before he turned the general discharge instructions over to the nurse. The nurse needed to provide us with J's physical limitations during her recovery. Essentially, J was encouraged to use her arm when she felt she was ready and as she read over the other instructions she said, "Oh, and if she has any siblings no wrestling." She paused and continued, "But you have two girls so you don't need to worry about them wrestling." My husband and I looked at each other like...what?!?! Ummm...I don't know about other girls, but our girls wrestle, tackle and rough house on a daily basis.
Now whenever my girls decide to wrestle, I have to chuckle. Ahhh..memories!
Someone is going to get hurt!
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Food Book
Another food activity to get my little one to eat. This is from my fave new book....Just Take A Bite: Easy, Effective Answers to Food Aversions and Eating Challenges by Ernsperger and Stegen-Hanson. Let me just say this book is not for the typical picky toddler. This book is about severe food aversions for children with developmental disabities, autism, multiple food allergies or medical problems related to delayed eating.
One of the suggested activities is to make a journal about new foods. The idea is that each time J eats a new food, I take a picture of her and she gets to glue it into her food journal. I'll let her color and decorate the page with glitter as a kind of celebration to each new food consumed.
I put the 30-40 page book together with construction paper and string for the binding. I wonder how long it will take to fill this book with new food pictures. I'm not kidding myself...probably a very long time! But we've got time!
I printed out some pictures of J eating as a baby and toddler. Then I simply made little notes about each picture and the food J is eating.
I'm excited to have J show this book to grandparents and friends. It should become for her a book to brag about. It's good to celebrate successes in this way. Hopefully, we'll have successes, but I'm getting ahead of myself.
The idea of the food journal is not only as a brag book, but to increase a child's knowlege of food. We will probably talk about what is a fruit or vegetable, healthy choice or treat, textures and how things taste. The more knowledge children have about something that produces anxiety, the less anxiety they will feel. It's a way to become familiar with a scary thing like food.
There is another activity in the book I'm so excited about. It's how to make a spit bucket. Totally gross and ingenious! I'll work on that early next week.
One of the suggested activities is to make a journal about new foods. The idea is that each time J eats a new food, I take a picture of her and she gets to glue it into her food journal. I'll let her color and decorate the page with glitter as a kind of celebration to each new food consumed.
I put the 30-40 page book together with construction paper and string for the binding. I wonder how long it will take to fill this book with new food pictures. I'm not kidding myself...probably a very long time! But we've got time!
I printed out some pictures of J eating as a baby and toddler. Then I simply made little notes about each picture and the food J is eating.
I'm excited to have J show this book to grandparents and friends. It should become for her a book to brag about. It's good to celebrate successes in this way. Hopefully, we'll have successes, but I'm getting ahead of myself.
The idea of the food journal is not only as a brag book, but to increase a child's knowlege of food. We will probably talk about what is a fruit or vegetable, healthy choice or treat, textures and how things taste. The more knowledge children have about something that produces anxiety, the less anxiety they will feel. It's a way to become familiar with a scary thing like food.
There is another activity in the book I'm so excited about. It's how to make a spit bucket. Totally gross and ingenious! I'll work on that early next week.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Budget Cuts
I attended a budget planning meeting last night. The school board of our local school district held the meeting to address upcoming budget shortfalls that are going to affect our public school system. Really affect our public school system! The main point of contention being the proposed closure of three elementary schools. It is unfortunately happening all over this country due to the recession and high unemployment. Education is suffering and our little area of the world is not immune to these severe cuts and changes.
I feel very fortunate in that my children won't be hugely affected. Their school is not one of the schools to close and we will not be taking on a large number of students into our school. Our enrollment will not change next year. So again...I'm feeling very fortunate. But at the same time, I think about the kids who will be affected. I hate to see a school close. To see the children have to make new friends at a strange new school. Many of them will be bused far from their neighborhoods. One group of children will be forced to ride the bus for 45 minutes one way to attend a school south of our town. A sad situation, but arguably a situation that can not be avoided in our current economy.
One thing that I observed last night was how emotionally charged people became. If it was my school, I would be just as upset. But one thing that was disturbing was how all of these parents needed an enemy. Someone to take their frustration out on. This enemy, as I'm sure you can guess, was the school board. They knew they would hear yelling and see fingers pointing in their direction over and over, but I was hoping it would be a little more civil. The school board members did not create this economy. They are not part of our legislature and therefore, did not make laws and regulations in regards to school funding. They are parents too. Just hardworking intelligent individuals who may not have children in the elementary schools, but who do have children in the school district. I sincerely believe they care about these decisions and how the cuts will affect our children's education. Many people last night just needed to be heard. They needed to raise their voices. And they did!
Not much was accomplished other than learning more details about the cuts that will be taking place over the next two years. The actual budget will not be finalized until May or June. After that time, firm numbers will be in place and then decisions about cuts can be made.
Like I said, I feel for the parents of children at the schools about to close. And I'm in a good place so selfish as it may sound....someone has to suffer and sacrifice in this recession. Something has to give. People in this district have some resources at their disposal. Some of them do have the funds to go to private schools if they choose. Others may be able to form car pools to school so their kids won't have to be bused the long distance to another school. There are options to get through this tough time.
There is one group of people who do not have options to get through an environment of budget cuts. Those are children with special needs. Many children with special needs do not have the option to be homeschooled (depending on their medical and emotional needs). Many of these children also do not have the option to be schooled in a private school. The school district is the only hope they have of a quality education. So when people mention closing the school established for special needs high school students, it is tough for me to hear. These are children who were not successful in our traditional high schools. If their school closes, they have no where to go. We need to help these children because they are a fragile population of kids. It is easy to look at that small population being affected and come to the conclusion that because it only would affect a hundred or so children, cuts should be made there. Thankfully, the school board understands these children are disadvantaged and don't have options the rest of us do. Closing this school is only going to take place after all other cuts are made. I'm hoping it doesn't go this far.
So we'll just anxiously await the firm budget numbers coming out this spring. I'm hoping for the best. I love my daughter's school and really believe she is getting an excellent education. I would hate for that to change.
I feel very fortunate in that my children won't be hugely affected. Their school is not one of the schools to close and we will not be taking on a large number of students into our school. Our enrollment will not change next year. So again...I'm feeling very fortunate. But at the same time, I think about the kids who will be affected. I hate to see a school close. To see the children have to make new friends at a strange new school. Many of them will be bused far from their neighborhoods. One group of children will be forced to ride the bus for 45 minutes one way to attend a school south of our town. A sad situation, but arguably a situation that can not be avoided in our current economy.
One thing that I observed last night was how emotionally charged people became. If it was my school, I would be just as upset. But one thing that was disturbing was how all of these parents needed an enemy. Someone to take their frustration out on. This enemy, as I'm sure you can guess, was the school board. They knew they would hear yelling and see fingers pointing in their direction over and over, but I was hoping it would be a little more civil. The school board members did not create this economy. They are not part of our legislature and therefore, did not make laws and regulations in regards to school funding. They are parents too. Just hardworking intelligent individuals who may not have children in the elementary schools, but who do have children in the school district. I sincerely believe they care about these decisions and how the cuts will affect our children's education. Many people last night just needed to be heard. They needed to raise their voices. And they did!
Not much was accomplished other than learning more details about the cuts that will be taking place over the next two years. The actual budget will not be finalized until May or June. After that time, firm numbers will be in place and then decisions about cuts can be made.
Like I said, I feel for the parents of children at the schools about to close. And I'm in a good place so selfish as it may sound....someone has to suffer and sacrifice in this recession. Something has to give. People in this district have some resources at their disposal. Some of them do have the funds to go to private schools if they choose. Others may be able to form car pools to school so their kids won't have to be bused the long distance to another school. There are options to get through this tough time.
There is one group of people who do not have options to get through an environment of budget cuts. Those are children with special needs. Many children with special needs do not have the option to be homeschooled (depending on their medical and emotional needs). Many of these children also do not have the option to be schooled in a private school. The school district is the only hope they have of a quality education. So when people mention closing the school established for special needs high school students, it is tough for me to hear. These are children who were not successful in our traditional high schools. If their school closes, they have no where to go. We need to help these children because they are a fragile population of kids. It is easy to look at that small population being affected and come to the conclusion that because it only would affect a hundred or so children, cuts should be made there. Thankfully, the school board understands these children are disadvantaged and don't have options the rest of us do. Closing this school is only going to take place after all other cuts are made. I'm hoping it doesn't go this far.
So we'll just anxiously await the firm budget numbers coming out this spring. I'm hoping for the best. I love my daughter's school and really believe she is getting an excellent education. I would hate for that to change.
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