My children aren't perfect listeners, but sometimes I think they are better at this task than some adults I know! I played bunco last night with an amazing group of ladies. We've been playing bunco together for years and I always look forward to the glass of wine and great conversation that goes with the night out. But one thing always amazes me. Some adults can not listen! They are expert talkers, but listening is not a talent they possess.
Here is a hint....if you leave an event without any information about the people you were with, you did not listen. On the other hand, if you found out about one friend's car trouble, another friend's vacation plans, or laughed hysterically hearing stories of children and/or husbands...congrats! You have mastered the art of listening.
So this is the goal. See how much information you can get from others. You may need to ask a question or two. Just the basics...
How are you?
What have you been up to?
Nothing complicated required, but what follows is really important. You will need to shut your mouth and listen to the answers. Listen without thinking about something else or what you want to say next. Listen with the idea of paraphrasing what the other person has said. So this is my lesson to my children today. Ask a question, and listen. Why? It makes other people feel good.
Friday, March 11, 2011
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
It's okay to spit at the table.
This post may fall under the category of TMI...too much information! It might make you a little queasy. It made me queasy just to join my family for dinner tonight.
There is an activity in my favorite eating aversion book, Just Take A Bite. The activity is about making a "spit bucket". What in the world is a "spit bucket"? But really this is ingenious as are many of the activities in the book. The idea is that children with severe eating aversions due to autism, developmental disabilities, food allergies, or medical issues related to the mechanics of eating, need to take small steps towards accepting new foods. The steps to eating a new food go something like the following, but please note that even though some of these behaviors sounds comical, this is very serious. Children with severe food aversions don't even like to sit at the table with new foods.
Painting was fun!
Ella painted a mug and wanted to make clear it was just for hot chocolate and she wasn't going to spit anything it her creation. Good plan!
Tonight we picked up the finished pieces.
It's really unbelievable, but tonight I ate dinner sitting across from Jillian and her ice cream cone spit container. She was excited! Her eyes lit up at the mention of trying the rice that was on her plate with the option of immediately spitting it out. She didn't use it tonight and did not try the rice, but she understands the concept and is excited about it. For now, that is good enough for me!
There is an activity in my favorite eating aversion book, Just Take A Bite. The activity is about making a "spit bucket". What in the world is a "spit bucket"? But really this is ingenious as are many of the activities in the book. The idea is that children with severe eating aversions due to autism, developmental disabilities, food allergies, or medical issues related to the mechanics of eating, need to take small steps towards accepting new foods. The steps to eating a new food go something like the following, but please note that even though some of these behaviors sounds comical, this is very serious. Children with severe food aversions don't even like to sit at the table with new foods.
- Screams and refuses to sit at the table when the new food is on his/her dinner plate.
- Calmly sits close to the new food.
- Smells the new food.
- Touches the new food with a fork or spoon.
- Touches or "plays" with the new food with fingers.
- Kisses the new food. (our therapist worked hard on this step)
- Licks or tastes the new food.
- Puts the new food in his/her mouth and then spits it out.
- Swallows the new food.
Painting was fun!
Ella painted a mug and wanted to make clear it was just for hot chocolate and she wasn't going to spit anything it her creation. Good plan!
Tonight we picked up the finished pieces.
It's really unbelievable, but tonight I ate dinner sitting across from Jillian and her ice cream cone spit container. She was excited! Her eyes lit up at the mention of trying the rice that was on her plate with the option of immediately spitting it out. She didn't use it tonight and did not try the rice, but she understands the concept and is excited about it. For now, that is good enough for me!
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Mommy Successes
It's the little things in life! As I placed a healthy breakfast in front of my kiddos this morning, I felt like I was the best parent in the world. For some reason, the act of not only putting healthy food on the table, but having them eat every bite, makes me feel like a total success. Like I said, it's the little things that make my day.
Here is a list of more little things. I feel like a total Mom-success when....
my kids are clean.
I remember to give my girls their vitamins.
game time doesn't end in a sibling smackdown.
Jillian says her tummy is full.
Ella exhibits kindness and empathy for other children.
Jillian hasn't hit Ella with some sort of makeshift sword for a whole day.
the kitchen floor is just washed and no one has spilled anything yet.
the sun comes out and I gather all the children on our street for an improptu trip to the park.
I watch Ella engrossed in a new chapter book.
my husband is out front with all the neighbor children leading them in a game of Red Light Green Light or trying to teach them to play hockey.
Ella finishes her chores.
I can find matching socks for both girls.
I send both kids off to school with hair combed and teeth brushed.
we take a trip to the library and when I ask if the girls want a movie they say, "No. Just books."
we have hot chocolate on a snow day.
we are ontime to any activity.
Jillian tells me she wants to do it herself.
I remember to give my girls hand sanitizer after being at the indoor park or other germy locale.
I am able to pass off something healthy, like a berry smoothie, as dessert.
I sneak into my girls' rooms late at night to place their little limbs back under the covers and they sleep so soundly they have no idea I was ever there.
Here is a list of more little things. I feel like a total Mom-success when....
my kids are clean.
I remember to give my girls their vitamins.
game time doesn't end in a sibling smackdown.
Jillian says her tummy is full.
Ella exhibits kindness and empathy for other children.
Jillian hasn't hit Ella with some sort of makeshift sword for a whole day.
the kitchen floor is just washed and no one has spilled anything yet.
the sun comes out and I gather all the children on our street for an improptu trip to the park.
I watch Ella engrossed in a new chapter book.
my husband is out front with all the neighbor children leading them in a game of Red Light Green Light or trying to teach them to play hockey.
Ella finishes her chores.
I can find matching socks for both girls.
I send both kids off to school with hair combed and teeth brushed.
we take a trip to the library and when I ask if the girls want a movie they say, "No. Just books."
we have hot chocolate on a snow day.
we are ontime to any activity.
Jillian tells me she wants to do it herself.
I remember to give my girls hand sanitizer after being at the indoor park or other germy locale.
I am able to pass off something healthy, like a berry smoothie, as dessert.
I sneak into my girls' rooms late at night to place their little limbs back under the covers and they sleep so soundly they have no idea I was ever there.
Monday, March 7, 2011
Girl Scout
I have to admit when Ella said she wanted to join Girl Scouts, I was a little hesitant. I encourage extracurricular activities like swimming, soccer and volunteering at the local humane society, but Girl Scouts? Really? That means I have to help sell cookies and I didn't want any part of the cookie business. A friend had her daughter join and the pressure mounted until I gave in. So here is my little Daisy.
My little entrepreneur loved selling cookies! She was so meticulous keeping records of the cookies she sold. She wasn't playing store like she has for years in her playroom. Making "real" change for "real" customers was a thrill. And I can't tell you how many times she rearranged her display until it was just right.
So this is how far I've come! I am our troop's Cookie Product Manager and I actually love the job. Most importantly, Ella loves that she can help me be in charge of passing out cookies and setting up cookie booths. Who would have thought this would happen? Cookie hater to Cookie Product Manager. Crazy!
I have been impressed with the Girl Scout organization thus far. Aside from learning the ropes with a new troop, the organization as a whole seems to be very well managed. There are so many opportunities for the girls now and as they get older. I imagine we are going to be involved for years to come.
One thing I wanted to mention about Girl Scouts is that they are not associated in any way with Boy Scouts. Not that I have an opinion about the Boy Scout organization, but I do know families who are not "friends" of the Boy Scouts because of political and ideological associations. The Girl Scouts do not have these same associations so I am happy to be away from the controversy. In fact, Girl Scouts appears to be very flexible with regard to many issues.
On the other hand, they are inflexible with regard to the safety of the girls. For example, all adults attending ANY event must be background checked through the online system and fully registered with the organization. Other than this, there is a lot of options with regard to how a troop is managed. I like flexibility! Makes my job as Cookie Manager much easier!
Girl Scouts
My little entrepreneur loved selling cookies! She was so meticulous keeping records of the cookies she sold. She wasn't playing store like she has for years in her playroom. Making "real" change for "real" customers was a thrill. And I can't tell you how many times she rearranged her display until it was just right.
So this is how far I've come! I am our troop's Cookie Product Manager and I actually love the job. Most importantly, Ella loves that she can help me be in charge of passing out cookies and setting up cookie booths. Who would have thought this would happen? Cookie hater to Cookie Product Manager. Crazy!
I have been impressed with the Girl Scout organization thus far. Aside from learning the ropes with a new troop, the organization as a whole seems to be very well managed. There are so many opportunities for the girls now and as they get older. I imagine we are going to be involved for years to come.
One thing I wanted to mention about Girl Scouts is that they are not associated in any way with Boy Scouts. Not that I have an opinion about the Boy Scout organization, but I do know families who are not "friends" of the Boy Scouts because of political and ideological associations. The Girl Scouts do not have these same associations so I am happy to be away from the controversy. In fact, Girl Scouts appears to be very flexible with regard to many issues.
On the other hand, they are inflexible with regard to the safety of the girls. For example, all adults attending ANY event must be background checked through the online system and fully registered with the organization. Other than this, there is a lot of options with regard to how a troop is managed. I like flexibility! Makes my job as Cookie Manager much easier!
Girl Scouts
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Ataxia
During Jillian's last IEP conference, her teacher asked if I'd noticed that her hand shakes. I had as a matter of fact, noticed her little hands shake when she is coloring, using a fork or placing food in her mouth, setting up her horses and building with blocks. So, basically, all the time! It's time to take her to her pediatrician to address this issue. When you have a child like Jill, you need to pick your battles, so to speak. I have noticed her tremor for maybe two years, but when visiting with her pediatrician, we always had bigger issues to address. Bigger fish to fry! Now that we have a break from surgeries and feeding therapy, maybe I can tackle this problem.
Ready. Set. Go.
Ataxia is the kind of lack of coordination and muscle control that I believe we are talking about with regard to hand tremors. There is a possibility that Jill's ataxia is associated with Klippel Feil Syndrome. There are reports of people with KFS who have developed ataxia due to spinal involvement mainly due to a compressed nerve. Jillian has had a full spinal MRI as well as multiple spinal xrays and no cord involvement was indentified so I would doubt this is the cause.
Another possiblity is that she has Arnold Chiari Malformation. There is a large percentage of people with KFS who also suffer from Arnold Chiari. One of the main signs is ataxia. Seeing that Jillian also didn't walk until the age of 2 does indicate she could have something wrong with her cerebellum, pointing to Arnold Chiari. She did have a normal MRI of her brain and this was ruled out. I do wonder if this could have been missed in a very mild form. (Arnold Chiari and KFS)
I have also considered that her neurological development is delayed and with time, her balance, coordination and hand tremor will improve. This is a real possibility. As I mentioned, she didn't walk until 2 and poor thing, once she learned to walk, she fell all the time! Her coordination and balance was definitely an issue. I carried her up and down stairs and got used to having a preschooler on my hip. But now, she is running, jumping and climbing stairs like a pro. Maybe her hand tremor will improve in this same way.
Lastly, many children diagnosed with one syndrome, have more than one diagnosis. It could be that Jillian has something we haven't discovered yet. Scary, but I must consider it.
I will be making an appointment for Jillian in the next week. As much as I'd like to sweep this issue under the rug, I worry about her not learning to write. She is beginning to recognize letters and I'd love to help her learn to control her movements enough to write those same letters.
Ready. Set. Go.
Ataxia is the kind of lack of coordination and muscle control that I believe we are talking about with regard to hand tremors. There is a possibility that Jill's ataxia is associated with Klippel Feil Syndrome. There are reports of people with KFS who have developed ataxia due to spinal involvement mainly due to a compressed nerve. Jillian has had a full spinal MRI as well as multiple spinal xrays and no cord involvement was indentified so I would doubt this is the cause.
Another possiblity is that she has Arnold Chiari Malformation. There is a large percentage of people with KFS who also suffer from Arnold Chiari. One of the main signs is ataxia. Seeing that Jillian also didn't walk until the age of 2 does indicate she could have something wrong with her cerebellum, pointing to Arnold Chiari. She did have a normal MRI of her brain and this was ruled out. I do wonder if this could have been missed in a very mild form. (Arnold Chiari and KFS)
I have also considered that her neurological development is delayed and with time, her balance, coordination and hand tremor will improve. This is a real possibility. As I mentioned, she didn't walk until 2 and poor thing, once she learned to walk, she fell all the time! Her coordination and balance was definitely an issue. I carried her up and down stairs and got used to having a preschooler on my hip. But now, she is running, jumping and climbing stairs like a pro. Maybe her hand tremor will improve in this same way.
Lastly, many children diagnosed with one syndrome, have more than one diagnosis. It could be that Jillian has something we haven't discovered yet. Scary, but I must consider it.
I will be making an appointment for Jillian in the next week. As much as I'd like to sweep this issue under the rug, I worry about her not learning to write. She is beginning to recognize letters and I'd love to help her learn to control her movements enough to write those same letters.
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